Counselors say he should focus on goals

12/14/00

BY DORY DEVLIN
FOR THE STAR-LEDGER

Bill Foster feels Al Gore's pain.

Back in the early '80s, he was up for the presidency, got it, and then had it snatched away. Granted, it was the presidency of a small bank in New York, not a country, but the disappointment was crushing nonetheless.

Luckily, the story has a happy ending. His firing just a few months into the job led Foster to his all- time favorite position: career coach. And he has some advice for the persistent would-be president:

Don't wallow.

"The only rule I have, even for myself, is get on with your life," said Foster, who has run his Bernardsville consulting business since 1987. "Figure out what you want to do and start doing it. It sounds simplistic, but he's got to figure out what he wants to do."

Whether it's the president of the United States, the president of a New York bank or an entry-level clerk in Dubuque, everybody fails. When the time comes, experts said, the first step is not to lose faith.

You can lick your wounds. In fact, career coaches say you need to feel it all -- shock, denial, anger and self-recrimination -- to get to the final stage of grief: acceptance. But then you have to figure out: What next?

"This is a mid-life crisis or a mid-life opportunity for Al Gore," said Laura Berman Fortgang, a career and life coach from Montclair and author of the aptly named "Take Yourself to the Top."

Gore's opportunity -- after eating, breathing and sleeping the presidency as his life's ambition -- is to reconnect with his values, his family, his internal desires and long-forgotten dreams, Fortgang says.

Journalism comes to mind, she says. Don't forget, the 52-year-old vice president has long said he was torn about leaving the newspaper business and making his first run for Congress to follow his father, Al Gore Sr., into Tennessee politics.

"If I was working with him," said Linda Hall, a career coach from Glen Ridge, "we would talk about what he still wants to do with his life. He's a young guy. I know he's interested in the environment, for example. He may still have political ambitions."

Good bet. If he does, the vice president needs to find a highly visible position that will keep him on the political road to the White House -- "something where he could make a big mark," Hall said.

"He needs to regroup and re- strategize," she said. "A lot of times, when executives fall from grace, they reinvent themselves."

If the guy who reinvented government can't reinvent himself, who can?

"Exactly," Hall said.

It's also probably best to take a break. Lay low for a month or two, Fortgang said.

Her advice: Stay active -- run, maybe play some more touch football with the family -- but don't make any decisions. Offers will pour in. Discuss them, but don't say yes or no for at least two months.

"Too often, decisions are made based on reactionary feelings," she said.

Lisa Huff, a career coach in Mendham, offered this counsel for the dismal days ahead: "Keep some measure of perspective. Your life is not over just because you didn't get your way this time.

"Generally, this is what I discuss with my clients: If something is meant for you to have, you'll have it," she said. "If it doesn't work out, some other bigger and better thing is waiting for you out there."

Bigger and better than the presidency of the United States of America?

"Just because you want something doesn't mean it's the best thing for you," she said. "Granted, it's a really big job. But in our society, we confuse what we do with who we are. A job is a job, part of your life, but it shouldn't be your whole life."

Without that exalted title, Gore faces the soulful challenge of identifying himself by who he is rather than what he does, said Carol Gerrish, a Monmouth Junction-based counselor.

"So many of us identify ourselves by who we are in the job, by our ability to answer that question: 'So what is it that you do?'" she said. When the answer is "president," well, "that sort of says it all."

The good news is, Gore won't have to go to weekly networking meetings to find his new place in life. He already has some of the most influential and well-connected contacts in the country.

"He needs to identify the people who truly care about him, who will provide him with support and connections," Gerrish said. "That's where the next thing is going to come from, whether it is running for president again or some other leadership position."

Once he makes a decision, the toughest thing for a man who has gauged every move by public polls will be not to worry about what everyone else thinks, Fortgang said.

It will not be easy, but Fortgang, who appeared on the "Today" show a few months ago to offer career advice to Monica Lewinsky, is not worried. "I think Al Gore will land on his feet."

And he will have some company. Don't forget, he has a colleague who is a 50-something senior executive who won his dream job by age 46, nearly got fired but instead will take an early, forced retirement next month. His wife just started a great new job in New York, and he, too, has to figure out what to do with the rest of his life.

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