|
|
 |
Living
Boldly® e-Zine Archives
Graduating to the next level in your life
June 13, 2005
It's June, and that means more
graduations for many families. Graduation season begins in May for the college
grads and continues on through June for the high school students. In our
family, my nephew Steve is graduating from high school this Friday, (WAY TO GO,
STEVE! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!) so there is a lot going on with out-of-town
relatives and Steve's extremely active social life (oh, to be 17 again... that
IS a great life!)
Watching my nephew grow up to the point where he is
on the verge of actual adulthood has been quite an experience. As someone with
no children of my own, my sister's two kids and my four other honorary nieces
and nephews (the children of my best friend) are as close as I can get to
parenthood. Steve is the oldest of all the kids in my life and so the first to
"graduate"... and it's a transition for the entire family. He's about to get
more freedom, to want to make choices we might or might not agree with, and
we'll be seeing a lot less of him on a daily basis. It's true what "they" say -
the time really does go way too fast and before you know it, one of these young
people has gone from infancy to adulthood and you have to let them go. (Oh,
God, get me the Kleenex!)
Graduating from school is a major thing in a
teen or 20-something's life. It's an ending, but primarily a new beginning.
There is much anticipation and excitement about what the future holds, but also
some anxiety about what is being left behind.
It occurs to me that
life is really just a series of graduations - for all of us, no matter what our
age. In order to reach a new level in our lives, we are required to graduate
from the old one. This is true whether it is graduating:
-- from high
school to college
-- from college to the first job and first apartment
-- from the first job to being promoted to the next... and the next
-- from
being single to being married
-- from being childless to becoming
parents
-- from renting to being a homeowner
-- from being in debt to
being financially stable, and from stability to abundance
-- from having
your kids at home to having them fly the nest when THEY are "graduating"
--
from working to "retirement"
or even "graduating" on a soul level, as
we evolve our personal and spiritual skills and perspectives throughout our
lives. Even death is a "graduation" of sorts - a rite of passage, a transition
to another "level".
With each graduation comes a lot of change - and
this is often scary for us. How successfully we make these transitions is a
function of how well we manage our anxieties and fears.
Although most
graduations seem to be "sudden", in reality the moment of graduation (the
event, ceremony, and celebration) is the culmination of an evolutionary
process. The word "graduation" comes from the word "gradual" - which is how
these transitions really take place, with gradual, step-by-step consistent
action over time.
Remember that a gradu-ation is meant to be gradu-al by design. Doing things
gradually and having the patience and commitment to see something through is
how we achieve our best results, how we manage our fear of change... and how we
get the most satisfaction in the entire process. If we got everything we wanted
instantly, we wouldn't be able to keep up with the rapid changes or fully
appreciate how far we've come.
Wherever you are today and whatever you
are trying to create for the next level in your life - whether you are
graduating from school, moving to a new chapter in your life through a wedding,
childbirth, a promotion or big business success, divorce, retirement, or simply
because you feel ready for a major change in your life - taking things
gradually, with continued forward movement, will get you to the graduation
point in no time.
It really will be here before you know it.
Congratulations to all you
Graduates out there - the Class of 2005 rocks!
Do you know a graduate? Are you a
graduate yourself? What's the best way to support a graduate (or yourself)
through this transition period?
1. Share this article with someone you
know who is graduating to something new.
2. Be patient. The graduate
is naturally experiencing a wide range of emotions and may be feeling very
self-centered right now. That's OK - let it be all about THEM for a little
while, they need to focus on what is going on in their own lives.
3.
Open communication. Being able to allow the graduate to talk about what they
are feeling - both the positives and negatives - without judging them or
rushing in to "fix" it, is one of the best gifts you can give them. Especially
with young people - it's time to start letting them attempt to solve their own
problems. Don't worry - they'll still need Mom and Dad more than you (or they)
think!
4. Take the time to celebrate the moment before rushing off to
the future. We spend too much time worrying about the future and not enough
time being fully present in the here-and-now. Part of graduating is the
celebration, so find a way to make your graduation special. It doesn't have to
be a big party, either. Treat yourself to something fun and out of the
ordinary.
For permission to reprint this
article, please contact me.
|
Why struggle with your writing, and why wait?
Contact me today to discuss your project!
|
The Writing Coach's
Guide