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Living
Boldly® e-Zine Archives
3 Years
Later: What's different in YOUR life?
September 10, 2004
That sound you just heard
was the collective heartfelt sigh of millions of people all over the word. It's
the three-year anniversary of one of the worst days in human history -- to
quote Franklin Delano Roosevelt on another historical "worst day", September
11th, 2001 is most certainly a "day which WILL live in infamy" in all our
memories, a day which changed each of us in profound ways.
We will
have many opportunities over this weekend to reflect, remember, and grieve our
losses from that day. But I don't want to focus on that today. What I'd like to
talk about is what has changed in your life, for the better, SINCE then.
If you recall, in the aftermath of that day, many people felt inspired to
reflect on their own lives -- and how they were living them. It was not
uncommon for people to talk about wanting to make some big changes in some way.
You probably knew someone who felt that way -- maybe it was even YOU!
We realized life was not infinite. We realized that "security", as we had been
defining it, never really existed at all - that we are all vulnerable, and
sometimes bad things do happen to good people. And we realized that, if we were
unhappy with something in our lives, that it was up to us to change it -- and
to stop putting off those changes.
We said we wanted to get healthier:
lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, make better choices, rest more, take
better care of ourselves.
We said we wanted to have a better quality
of life: to be more organized, less cluttered, to stop putting up with things
that aren't working in our lives, to stop tolerating people or situations that
are draining us or hurting us.
We said we wanted to get closer: spend
more quality time with loved ones, meet someone special and fall in life,
improve the quality of our relationships.
We said we wanted to be
bolder: stop putting off a big dream, take a chance and try something new, have
more fun, have more adventures, take more risks.
We said we wanted to
quit wasting time: be more effective, be more productive, stop doing jobs we
hated, stop wasting our talents.
We said we wanted to find out who we
really are: get more connected with a higher spiritual power, get more
authentic and honest with ourselves and others, get clear on what we really
want for our lives -- and make a difference in the world.
And all of
us solemnly promised ourselves: "I'm going to DO it, I'm going to do whatever I
have to do, to change what I don't like. THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT!"
So, if you were one of those
people, I ask you: Three years later - has anything changed? ARE things
different? If so, how? And if not -- what are you waiting for?
I actually CREATED "Living Boldly®" as a result of my own search for more
direction and meaning in my life during those post-9/11 months. Living Boldly
was the theme, the statement I decided I wanted to make - in my work, in my
relationships and in my life. I didn't want to have major regrets in my life
about things I really wanted to accomplish, but hadn't.
So, like some
of you probably did, I got all fired up, and started putting some changes in
motion. But sometimes, this was easier said than done.
In the weeks
and months after the disaster, it was easy to feel deeply motivated to change.
Our emotions and commitment and intention ran very deeply. I believe that you
were sincere in your desire to change whatever wasn't working in your life at
that time. I know you meant it. But have you done anything about it since
then?
As often happens after a traumatic event, we all longed for
things to "return to normal" as soon as possible. We craved our former
security, comfort and routine. And as the opportunities presented themselves to
GET back to our usual lives, we took them -- not realizing that along with
getting back to our "old lives" we were also holding on to our "old ways". The
very things we WANTED so desperately to change became the very things we ended
up clinging to, simply because we needed comfort, and the old ways are nothing
if not comfortable and familiar.
So, now three years have passed.
Depending on how deeply you were affected by the events of 9/11/01, you may
still be knee-deep in the grieving process. If you are one of those people, my
thoughts and prayers are with you as you take one day at a time toward creating
a new life and healing your deep pain.
For the rest of us... maybe
it's time to dust off our good intentions of change, of making a difference.
Think about where you are now, and where you were three years ago. Ask yourself
- has anything really changed? If not, what do I really want for myself NOW,
and what do I need to do to make it happen?
Do you want to be sitting
there, three years from NOW -- realizing NOTHING has changed? I want to
challenge you to recommit yourself to making a difference in your own life.
Whatever it is you WANT to change, you are the only one who can do the work,
create the plan, and take the necessary steps.
I know you can do it!
And if you need additional incentive... consider the people who lost their
lives three years ago, and the family and friends who miss them so deeply. The
people who died had dreams of their own, that they won't get to fulfill. But
you have YOUR life, and you still have the opportunity NOW to create the kind
of life you really want. What better way could you honor the victims, than to
live your own life, fully, deeply and most of all, Boldly!
Dedicated to the victims and
survivors of the September 11, 2001 attacks. We will never forget.
Read the essay I wrote on September
11, 2001.
Tip
#1: Stop beating yourself up for whatever it was that you wanted to do but
haven't done. Shake it off. Let it go. And resolve to start fresh, now.
Berating yourself serves no good purpose.
Tip #2: Take some paper and
pen, sit quietly, and reflect on the past three years of your life. Who were
you three years ago? Where were you in your life? What was going on at that
time? What was it that you wanted to change? Make some notes of your thoughts
on this.
Tip #3: From where you are NOW... what HAS changed, if
anything? Take some time to pat yourself on the back for whatever changes,
however big or small, you have successfully made in your life over the past 3
years. And decide on how you will reward yourself for those efforts - then do
it! Celebrating your accomplishments is important!
Tip #4: Now, what
still needs to happen? Where is there still a gap between where you are now,
and where you really want to be? Identify the gap (or gaps, if there is more
than one thing you really want to change).
Tip #5: For each gap you
identify, make a list of some of the possible solutions or actions you could
do, to begin to change things in that area of your life. It might even be fun
or helpful to do this with a really good friend (encourage your friend to do
this exercise too) - then you can brainstorm ideas with each other. Use this
list to create a game plan by selecting the actions you feel will work best. As
you complete a step or a task or a milestone, make sure you check off that item
to track your progress.
Tip #6: Get creative about getting support for
achieving your goals. Some people are afraid or reluctant to ask for help or
support, but to make big changes, you can't do it all on your own. You may need
concrete or material support from others along the way, or you may simply need
moral support, someone to cheer you on and encourage you not to give up.
Whatever you need in the way of support, don't be afraid to ask for it from the
appropriate people.
For permission to
reprint this article, please contact
me.
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