|
|
 |
Living
Boldly® e-Zine Archives
Put One
Foot in Front of the Other
February 09, 2004
You say you have big dreams. You say you want to make some
major changes in your life. You say you want to lose weight or get healthier;
get promoted; start a business; travel the world; get out of debt; achieve
financial independence; clean out your closets, the piles of paper in your
office, or the garage; build or buy your dream house; fall in love, maybe get
married, maybe start a family; spend more time with your spouse, partner or
children; take more vacations and have more fun. You feel strongly passionate
about what you say is most important to you, and you're miserable when you're
not making progress.
But despite how badly you may WANT these big
dreams to happen, despite how high a priority you say they are, and in spite of
how committed you feel inside to achieving what you want -- for some of you,
it's just not happening. You probably started out very gung-ho, but after some
time passed (months, weeks, days, maybe even hours) you found your ability to
stay focused and take action diminished. And you say to yourself "What the
blazes is WRONG with me? Why do I always seem to get stuck? I keeping saying I
want such-and-such so badly, so what's the problem? Why can't I stay focused
and achieve what I want?"
The Paradox
Quite a paradox,
isn't it? We say we want something and we're passionate about it, but we let
things we DON'T want get in the way of our accomplishing what we DO want, and
then we beat ourselves up for not making it happen.
There can be many
reasons WHY we get stuck on the path to achieving our dreams. Fear of success,
fear of failure, fear of others not approving of what we want to do, fear of
embarrassment, fear of financial ruin... the list could go on and on. It's
important, if you are feeling really stuck, to do your best to become aware of
your own personal fears and how they are getting in the way of you achieving
your goals. You can do this on your own, by talking things out with a trusted
friend, by working with a professional coach, or even in some cases going into
therapy to overcome any deep-seated emotional blocks and to heal any past
traumas that are getting in the way.
But when all is said, done, and
analyzed, you simply have to put one foot in front of the other and take
action. Understanding yourself and your motivations is important, but
"understanding" is not going to get the job done! Action will always be
required on your part in order for your dreams to become your reality.
I can confide in you that even as a coach, I sometimes get stuck and even
seem to sabotage my own best efforts at doing what I say I want. (Hey, did you
think we coaches are always living perfect lives?) For example, I have always
been the Contessa of Clutter throughout my life (and anyone who has lived with
me can attest to this!) It's not that I enjoy clutter - in fact, quite the
opposite - but clutter seems to creep up on me no matter how many times I have
vowed to myself (after thoroughly cleaning and organizing my space) that I will
"never" let this clutter happen again.
When I was a kid, some of the
clutter was just part of being a kid and a teenager, and some of it came from
normal childhood rebellion and the need to control something in my life.
Resisting cleaning my room or making my bed was one of the ways I first
attempted to assert my freedom and independence, and in that respect, it was a
pretty normal thing for me to do at that time. But I'm 42 now -- and still
struggling with this clutter issue. It's like I'm still rebelling or something,
but against WHO? Somewhere along the line, I created a "reality", a personal
story, where I tell myself that I have more freedom and independence when I
don't take the time to keep my space neat and organized. It's completely
ridiculous and untrue when I stop to analyze it, because logically I know that,
in fact, I have MORE freedom and independence when I keep my space in order!
Just take one step!
What I've
come to realize is, I can analyze this aspect of my personality until the cows
come home, but it's not getting me anywhere productive! The old story just
doesn't work any more, and I can no longer make excuses for myself. I've
created some very bad domestic habits and I'm still living up to (or maybe DOWN
to) those expectations of what I call "freedom". At some point, I have to just
get down to business, put one foot in front of the other, and DO something
about it. Even taking just ONE small action in the right direction can get me
started on a better path.
For instance, the past few weeks I've been
living in utter clutter and chaos, but feeling really overwhelmed by how much
there was to clean up, so I just kept trying my old strategy of "ignoring" it -
which of course never works. But when we feel overwhelmed by trying to achieve
something that feels really big, it's not unusual for us to procrastinate
simply because we feel in over our heads. What finally got me to break out of
the clutter and make some real progress, was to give myself permission to take
small steps. Instead of feeling like I had to devote an entire day to
de-cluttering something, 3-4 times a week I spent small periods of time (15-20
minutes on average), cleaning up something. Sometimes I worked on purging old
files in my home office. Sometimes I sorted through the mail to get rid of the
junk and flyers and catalogs. Other times I would take a few minutes and purge
my email folders.
By taking on these tasks in small increments, I
started to then build momentum as I began to see some progress. And finally,
this weekend I ended up completing a project I started about 6 weeks ago --
sorting through all my clothing, tossing things that were past hope and
creating a "donate" pile for the clothing I want to give to a worthy cause. I
went through every drawer, the closet, piles of shoes and an off-season storage
bin. It was amazing - I threw out 3 big bags of trash and I have 3 huge boxes
of clothing to donate. I can now walk around my bedroom without literally
stepping over something and the room feels lighter and airier. And I will
probably be sleeping much better without all that clutter around me!
The idea is that, by putting one foot in front of the other, by taking even
some SMALL action steps in the right direction, you will begin to create
momentum, break through the barriers of feeling overwhelmed and scared, and
over time you will see the progress you want. Give yourself permission to take
one step at a time, to break a big project down into tiny pieces. You may think
it will take you longer to reach your goals, but the truth is, if you are stuck
and procrastinating, putting it off will take much more time and energy than
tackling it small step by small step.
Take one step at a time and
you'll be on your way before you know it!
What have you been procrastinating
about for a long time? What big dream are you always talking about but never
actively pursuing? What are you putting up with that is draining your energy?
Start today, THIS minute, by asking yourself: "What is one small step
I could take today to move me closer toward that goal?" There may be MANY steps
you could choose from, but choose whatever feels easiest and something you can
accomplish today. Then each day, while you're having your morning coffee and
breakfast, ask the same question again, and then DO the action step that same
day.
Keep a little log or journal where every day, you write down the
1 step you accomplished. Then once a week, go back and look at your journal so
you can see that you HAVE made progress. This will help you feel less like
you're not accomplishing anything, because you'll have the written evidence
right in front of you to prove otherwise!
For permission to reprint this article, please contact me.
|
Why struggle with your writing, and why wait?
Contact me today to discuss your project!
|
The Writing Coach's
Guide