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Living
Boldly® e-Zine Archives
"Just a
Hunch": Tapping Your Intuition
September 02,
2003
I recently enrolled in a 4-week class on "Intuition as a
Coaching Skill". There are a number of reasons why I decided to sign up for
this class, which meets at the ridiculously early (for me, anyway) hour of
7:00am eastern time. First, I like to periodically take a class that helps me
refresh and expand on my coaching skills. Second, the instructor happens to be
one of my own former coaches, and "intuition" is one of her strengths as a
coach so I knew I'd be in good hands. And lastly, my intuition was TELLING me
to take the class!
What IS this thing we call "intuition" and why is
it important? It goes by many names: gut feeling, instinct, hunch, inkling,
inner knowing, etc. It's something that many people believe in, others firmly
deny, and science can neither prove or disprove. Some believe it's exclusively
a woman's domain. I like to think of it as that wise inner part of ourselves
that knows what is true for us, has a direct connection to a higher power, and
when we listen to it, it rarely steers us wrong!
I used to be someone
who believed in intuition in THEORY, but rarely relied on it in my own daily
life. ("Yeah, it's a nice concept, but I don't have it and besides, it's not
very PRACTICAL!") As someone who spent her work life in technology, I was
trained to think, strategize and problem-solve in a very linear way... step by
step, always focused on logic and intellect. I had myself convinced that the
only way I could get what I wanted, achieve what I desired, and accomplish
anything was to MAKE it happen (in other words, I tried to control everything I
possibly could to assure the outcomes I thought I wanted -- sound
familiar?)
Sure, there were times when I would get little hunches or
when I would have the experience of simply "KNOWING" something. Like the time I
was contacted by a recruiter about a job opportunity, and the moment the guy
described the job, I just KNEW it was MY job, and that feeling never left me
throughout the interview. And I DID get that job, and held it for 8 1/2 years
until I left corporate life for good in 1998. It was one of the best companies
I ever worked for, too!
But like a lot of people who are more
comfortable living in a world where things need to make sense, be proven, and
be under control, I wasn't very in tune with my intuitive inner self. I didn't
understand then, as I do now, that intuition isn't something only a special few
people get to experience -- intuition is something every human being possesses.
It's just a matter of how open we are to using it and developing it to its full
potential.
When we
ignore our intuition
So because I wasn't paying much attention
to my intuition and would often discount the intuitive messages I DID manage to
notice, in 1996 I was ignoring many little "hits" or "signs" or "inklings" I
was getting about my life, until one day I got a "hit" I couldn't ignore -- I
fell in my home and broke my leg in three places. The way in which I had this
little "accident" was so bizaare that even now I can't explain it... but there
I was, being carted off in an ambulance to face surgery and a long recovery.
I realized over the months that followed that my intuition was
clearly trying to get me to sit still (literally) and pay attention -- and for
once, I decided to listen (since I had little else to do with my leg in a
cast!) And ended up completely changing my life over the next 2 years as a
result, leaving my job and former profession (where I realized I was burned
out), selling my home (which was draining my resources), and ending an
important romantic relationship (which was no longer working well), to follow a
new path that was far more personally and professionally satisfying. Before the
"accident", there were many signs that these things needed to be changed, but I
had been ignoring them, telling myself I was "happy", because I WANTED that to
be true. The "accident" forced me to a place where I began to look more
honestly at my life, and as a result I became more willing to let my intuition
play a leading role in my life, literally "leading" me where I need to go!
Now, I rely on my intuition all the time. Although in the beginning --
even after I had already decided to become a coach and was knee-deep in making
the professional transition -- I was rather resistant to say the least. My
first coach, Edie Pereira Hulbert, is someone who constantly taps into her own
intuition with her clients, and I began to see, through her example, how
extraordinarly effective it was in helping me make progress. So I started to
shift my opinion of intuition and started being willing to tap into my own
intuitive forces. It took time, but the more open I became, the easier it got.
(And Edie now claims I am her "poster child" for how much a person CAN change
their perspective in life!)
The more I learned to listen to my hunches
with clients, the better my clients did, the more insights they had that they
could really use in their lives, and the more value they got from our coaching
work. When I really tap into my intuitions while coaching, and share those
intuitive moments with my clients, I find that my clients often get those
"light bulb moments" where they get their own insights that allowed them to
move forward rapidly. And the more I payed attention to my intuition in my
personal life, the easier it became for me to make big decisions, for me to
know what direction to take, and for me to have more confidence in my choices.
The more I continue to exercise my intuition, in ways large and small, the
stronger and more reliable it gets!
Intuitive Reminders
Of course, there are times when I am painfully reminded of what can happen
when I ignore my intuitions... like the time not long ago (when I should have
"known better"!) when I bought a back-pack-style purse to take on a trip to
Paris, and just before I paid for it I heard a little voice inside me saying
"Hold on a minute, it would be SO easy for a pickpocket to take my wallet out
of this thing, it's really not very secure." But the price was right and it met
my practical needs at the time, so I pushed that nagging voice aside, bought it
anyway and took it with me on my trip. And on my second day in Paris, I was
indeed pickpocketed in the subway, and they really cleaned me out, too!
Afterward when I had time to reflect, I realized I had been getting intuitions
the entire trip about the possibility of being pickpocketed, and kept ignoring
all of them, thinking "I'm too smart for that to happen to ME!" Now, I can only
laugh when I look back at that event, because I know that if I'd been paying
attention, the outcome might have been different. It was a costly lesson to
learn, but now I am even more willing to listen to those inner voices, hunches,
and gut feelings!
How to tap your intuition
Learn to
relax and trust your intuitions. If you are someone who is skeptical about
intuition, try to suspend your disbelief just enough so that you can at least
be open to the possibility that intuition exists and it plays an important role
in our daily lives. Be willing to change your mind about the value of your own
ability to get, and act on, your "gut feelings" and hunches. The more you flex
those intuitions, the more you can learn to rely on them as you need to make
decisions, and the more you can put those hunches to work for you in everyday
life!
And how do you know if it's REALLY your intuition talking, or
something else? Well, some ways to know it's probably NOT your intuition are:
if a sense of urgency is present, chances are you are acting from fear or
anxiety rather than intuition; if you feel very emotionally attached to the
outcome, you may be focusing on forcing what you "want" to happen rather than
listening to what your intuition is best; if it "makes sense on paper" but you
get a stomach ache, or aches in your neck or joints, it's probably not
intuition, either. And lastly, if it's full of effort and you are working "too
hard" to make something come out a certain way, then you aren't listening to
intuition.
Intuition in Action
Try some or
all of these little exercises or tips to open your intuitions. Choose the ones
that feel the easiest for you right now. If you're a card-carrying skeptic,
choose the ones that you feel the least resistant towards, as a starting point.
If you're a person who has already had some success in accessing your
intuition, look for the ideas that will really challenge you to STRETCH a bit
further! No matter which you try or what kind of results you get, be patient
with yourself and with the process -- intuition, like any life skill, is
something that you need to practice over time in order to get better at it!
1. Next time you drive to the store or the mall, before you set off
in the car, take a moment to close your eyes and "ask" your intuition to guide
you to a really great parking space. I can feel you laughing at this one, but
it works! Actually it works so well for me that I no longer even need to ask --
I just sort of "expect" there will be a great parking space for me wherever I
go, and about 99% of the time, there is (even at the mall in December!)
2. When you have a decision to make and you feel stuck, take some time to
sit quietly where you won't be disturbed, close your eyes, and ask your
intuition some questions, such as: "What is true for me now?", "What is it I
need to see here?", "Which option is best for my highest good and the good of
anyone else involved?", or any similar questions that come to mind. Note that
these questions are open-ended and non-judging. Be still and notice what
images, symbols, words, voices, or thoughts come to you as a result of asking
these questions. You may even want to jot some notes down on what little
inklings or ideas showed up -- then reflect on them for a while but don't try
to over-analyze them.
3. Keep a journal for a week where you notice
and record "coincidences", things that seem to fall into place effortlessly,
inklings, hunches and gut feelings, and so on. Journaling can really help you
notice how your own intuition works best for you personally!
4. Some
people find that their intuitions often come to them through their bodies. For
instance, they make a decision that looks OK on paper but later they get
stomach pains or pains in the neck or joints or elsewhere in the body. If they
later back out of the earlier decision, the pains go away and they feel more
"at peace". Begin to notice your body and what it's telling you when you make a
decision -- do you feel calm, or anxious and in pain?
5. If you have
an experience where you suddenly hear a voice or have a strong feeling or
visual image that feels out of place with whatever is going on in the moment,
DO pay attention to that! Resist the temptation to automatically brush it aside
as nonsense. Instead, notice it and give yourself a little time to see if it's
a persistent feeling. If it persists, it is probably your intuition trying to
get your attention.
There are so many ways to learn to access your
intuition, these are just a few for you try out and experiment with. Have fun
with it and enjoy whatever insights you get about your intuitive self!
For permission to reprint this article, please contact me.
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