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Living
Boldly® e-Zine Archives
Making a
Fresh Start
August 12, 2003
I was browsing through a store the other day, and noticed that all the
back-to-school supplies were being put out on the shelves. In other stores, the
first thing you see when you walk in the store is dorm-room decor, or the new
fall clothes. That back-to-school feeling is definitely in the air (and I can
hear parents everywhere rejoicing!)
Do you remember when you were
young, that there was a sense of excitement and anticipation about getting your
back-to-school things? Whether it was a new notebook with crisp, untouched
pages, or a new outfit to wear to the first day of school - there was always
something about this time of year that felt "new". Every September, you got to
make a fresh start!
Even in our adult world, many of us experience
that "fresh start" feeling each fall. As our summer vacations wind down, as the
heat and humidity of the summer weather begins to abate, we find ourselves
filled with a surge of energy, ready to tackle things we have been putting off
all summer long. We may mourn the loss of those lazy summer days, but at the
same time we can look forward to what's coming next in our lives.
"The only thing constant in life
is change." -- Francois de la Rochefoucauld
If you think about
it, every ending is really a new beginning! The summer may be ending, but with
that ending comes the opportunity to start fresh, to create something new, to
begin again. Our lives are filled with one fresh start after another - filled
with change, filled with transitions.
Even death is about transition
and change. When someone we care about dies, although it feels as if something
is ending, it is also a new beginning - both for the soul who has passed on,
and for those who are coping with the loss. I was reminded of this yesterday,
as I attended the funeral of a family friend who died very suddenly last week.
It occurred to me that the cultural rituals we observe when someone dies,
whatever those rituals happen to be, are a very necessary first step in the
transition to a new beginning. We have to say our goodbyes, through the ritual
of a funeral service, so that we can begin to create a new reality for
ourselves, without the physical presence of our loved one. There is much
sadness and learning to cope in new ways, and over time we learn to adjust to
new challenges and to look forward to more new beginnings. Life truly DOES go
on!
This is the cycle of life - endings create new beginnings. Whether
we like it or not, change is constant in our lives, and we cannot avoid it
(although I know a lot of people who certainly TRY!). We can't always control
the things that happen in our lives that create the need for change and a fresh
start - but it's completely up to us how we choose to deal with the changes!
"What we resist,
persists."
When change is in the wind, whether or not it is by
your choice - do you embrace it and accept it, or resist it? Do you welcome the
circumstances, however challenging they may be, as an opportunity for a fresh
start, or do you stubbornly try to hold on to what you HAD, denying reality and
refusing to adapt? I can tell you from vast personal experience that the latter
approach does not work, and only serves to prolong the agony. "What we resist,
persists." Denying what IS, or clinging desperately to the way things "used to
be" won't get you anywhere! Change is going to happen whether you want it to,
or not, so you can either jump on board and ride the tide of change, or you can
completely miss the boat!
One of my clients, Belinda Heiden Scott,
has really been an inspiration for me in this area. Belinda contacted me just a
few months after her husband died following a brief and sudden illness. At a
time in her life when many women might have, understandably, decided to curl up
in a fetal position for a few months, Belinda was choosing to look upon the
changes that were taking place as a real opportunity in the next phase of her
life. Certainly, she was still going through a grieving process and getting
support for her grief, but at the same time she decided she wanted to channel
her energy into something productive, to build a new future for herself.
Belinda began exploring many different possibilities and interests. She
thought about opening a bookstore. She considered going back to school to
finish her degree and to pursue some advanced education. She thought about how
she could best use her particular skills and know-how to help someone else.
Essentially, Belinda was giving herself permission to make a fresh start by
giving herself the time and space to imagine what could be next for her in her
life - AND she allowed herself to be excited by all the possibilities!
By the end of last year - just about one year since the passing of her
husband - Belinda decided she was ready to make a leap, and she left her job to
start her own business. (To learn more about Belinda and her new business,
visit www.CreatingExecutiveSuccess.com!) She is
also still exploring the idea of going back to school. Life isn't always easy
for her, and she still experiences some of the emotions that go with losing a
loved one - but throughout the time I have known her, she has consistently been
focused, every step of the way, on the positive things she can create with her
talents and energies. She took a terrible situation and found a way to use it
as a tool to motivate herself in a whole new, and very exciting, direction.
Belinda has been focused on making her own "fresh start" work, and she has been
very successful at it!
"Problems are opportunities in work clothes." -
Frederick R. Koppel
What new beginnings or fresh starts are you
experiencing in your own life? Lost a job? Broke up with your significant
other? Is your business struggling? Have you had serious financial problems?
Has a loved one recently passed on? All of these life experiences, while they
can be painful, are opportunities for YOU to choose to make a fresh start. Even
if you are not experiencing any such serious challenges in your life right now,
you can use the end of summer and the beginning of autumn as your own personal
catalyst to motivate you to start anew!
Living Boldly in
Action
With the close of summer and the start of a new
autumn season, what have YOU been putting off doing, that you are now willing
to take action on or change? Why not use this transitional time of year as the
catalyst for a fresh start!
-- Do you need to clean out some closets,
the gutters, the garage, your office, your car?
-- Business owners - have
you been putting off some much needed changes to your marketing strategy or to
your company's web site?
-- What about your eating and exercise habits,
what about self-care? Is it time to commit yourself to creating a truly healthy
lifestyle?
-- Do you need to invest some time and/or money in some
training, education, or personal or professional coaching so that you can
advance to the next level in your career?
-- Do you need to make some
changes in your personal relationships, perhaps setting boundaries with someone
who is not respectful of your time, or perhaps making an effort to pursue a new
friendship or romantic relationship?
-- When was the last time you did
something just for FUN? Tried something new that you've always wanted to try?
Took a risk? Had a little adventure?
-- In a career rut? In between jobs?
Have you really given some serious thought to what it is you truly WANT in your
career? What is it that will really make you happen, and give you a sense of
satisfaction and contribution?
-- Do you need to revisit your personal or
professional goals - are you on target, ahead of schedule, falling behind, or
do you need to come up with entirely new goals? What actions do you need to
take in this area?
Whether there is some sort of major change already
taking place in your life, or whether you simply, as I do, feel compelled to
make a fresh start at this time every year, I want to encourage you in taking
action, one step at a time, toward creating something new and wonderful for
yourself this fall. Don't just DREAM about making the changes you want to make
- truly commit yourself and follow through with consistent action.
For permission to reprint this article, please contact me.
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