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Articles by Lisa Taylor
Huff
Top 10 Ways to Dramatically
Improve the Quality of Your Entire Life
May 26, 1998
In
our fast-paced, troubled and hectic world, "quality of life" seems to be
gaining increasing importance in the lives of many people. Here are some ideas
from my personal experiences and those of my clients, that can help you shift
from doing and achieving, to simply BEING and living with joy.
1.
Tell the whole truth, all of the time.
Most of us don't realize how
much energy we waste by not being completely truthful. We withhold information
from those around us under the guise of protecting our idea of privacy, but did
you ever stop to notice how stressful it is, trying to keep secrets? We spend a
ridiculous amount of time living up to someone else's idea of how we should
be… and that is living a lie. How much time, money and energy have you
wasted by not being your authentic self, by living simply to please others? We
also lie to ourselves. Any time you are unwilling to face the complete truth
about yourself by making excuses and being afraid to see the real you, any time
you retreat from reality by using food, alcohol, drugs, over-work,
over-spending, or too much TV to distract yourself - those are the times when
you are lying to YOU by being afraid to see yourself, without criticism or
self-judgement, as you really are. Until you can make truth-telling and
integrity your #1 priority, you will continue to overcomplicate your life and
you will continue to waste precious energy.
2. Get rid of the
junk!
What are you holding on to in your life? We all have junk in
our closets, our attics, our desk drawers, our basements - and our souls. The
junk we have in our physical environment is a direct reflection of how we see
ourselves. Creating order in your physical environment by clearing away the
old, discarded, broken or useless items is a spiritual metaphor for what can
happen when you also clear away the old, discarded, broken or useless thoughts
and beliefs that are keeping you from achieving what you were put on this earth
to achieve. Nature abhors a vacuum, and when you clear away the old, you make
room for new and better things to come into your life. Start by cleaning the
clutter in your home, your office, your car… and as you do, spend some
time reflecting on what emotional or mental clutter you need to discard as
well.
3. Give up your attachment to your "stuff".
Keeping up with the Jones' is a very tiring business. One way to
simplify your life is to look around for ways you can actually scale BACK your
lifestyle. For many, the idea of scaling back is nothing short of terrifying.
"What do you mean, I thought I was supposed to be achieving, getting more,
doing more? All my possessions are PROOF of what I've achieved!" In order to do
consider scaling back in order to simply your life, you must first come to
believe that you are much more than your possessions. You are more than your
big house. You are more than that sports car. You are more than that diamond
tennis bracelet, high-tech media center, vacations to lush resorts. You are,
simply, MORE. When we stop identifying who we ARE with what we HAVE, then the
idea of scaling back is no longer frightening. Who says you have to keep up
with anyone, anyway? Your life is not a contest, it's a gift. There is nothing
"wrong" with material possessions or with living in a state of financial
abundance and prosperity - I am not suggesting that you can't have wealth and
still be a spiritual person. But if you find you are identifying your value as
a human being with your "stuff", then it's time to consider releasing both the
"stuff" AND your attachment to it, so you can get in touch with the REAL you!
4. Stop filling up your days with tasks and activities that don't
serve your higher purpose for your life.
In addition to identifying
who we are with what we own, some of us also define ourselves by how busy we
are. We somehow manage to think of constant rushing, always being in motion,
always on the go, as proof positive that we are important. After all, aren't
busy people important? No, they're just busy. Shift your perception from "gee,
I'm so busy, I must be popular, special, wanted, needed, important" to "gee,
I'm important enough to ME to only participate in activities that support my
goals and higher purpose in my life". Realize that you are on this earth for a
specific purpose, and that until you can slow down long enough, and stop
filling in all the empty spaces with useless activity, you might not be able to
find out what that purpose actually IS, nor will you have time to follow that
purpose into your future.
5. Cut up all but one of your credit
cards.
Yes, I'm serious. One. If you can't live with one, then
chances are your credit card debt is out of control and once again, you are
equating who you are with how much plastic you have. Just as with your physical
environment and clutter, your financial clutter is also a direct reflection of
how you see yourself.
6. Do what you REALLY want to do!
What do you love to do? I mean, really, really LOVE to do? What
activities would you be doing right now if there were no obstacles in front of
you? When you can really connect with doing something that brings you energy,
joy, peace, fun, and passion in your life, then it no longer feels like work.
How many of us are doing things we really don't love doing? What will it take
for you to shift from doing something just to earn cash and scrape by, to
getting out there and living your dreams? At the end of your life, will it
matter more to you that you have a big pile of cash in the bank, or will it
matter more that you pursued your finest vision in your life?
7.
Learn to put yourself first.
Putting yourself first is a concept
many of us find difficult. We think that putting yourself first means not
caring about the needs of others, that it means we are cold and mean and
selfish. But think about this: by NOT taking good care of yourself, your own
needs, your own dreams, your health... how well can you really serve and
support those around you who need you? Putting yourself first, taking good care
of yourself, is actually a gift to those you love. Your loved ones want you to
be around for a long time!
8. Stop trying to control everything.
Let it go. Often, we find that we become very attached to our
expectations of others. We fixate on how we think someone else should act,
behave, or speak. We need to be "right". We spend OUR valuable energy trying to
get THEM to change or to live up to our expectations… and then crash down
into anger or upset when we feel they have failed us. The question is… why
do you have those expectations in the first place? Why is it so important to
you to control what others do? By learning to release all attachments to the
outcome of what others do or do not do, you free yourself up to focus on YOU.
We also have expectations of ourselves, ideas about ourselves that are based on
information we received from childhood and from our life experiences. Do your
ideas about yourself inspire you and motivate you to pursue a wonderful life,
or do they hold you back by bringing negativity and self-criticism into your
world? Letting go of obsolete ideas about yourself is critical to your growth
and development. And if truly letting go of the need to control seems too
difficult for you… start by at least being WILLING to let go. You'll be
amazed at how having a willing attitude can make the rest so much easier!
9. Slow down and breathe!
We live in a fast-paced world.
Keep in mind that it's a gift to yourself to give yourself permission to slow
down a bit, take a deep breath, and reflect on where you are and where you're
heading. Spend some time meditating, spend some quiet time with yourself, spend
some quiet time with your loved ones. Quiet time is a way of checking in with
yourself, as well as a way of connecting with those around you.
10.
Express gratitude.
Give back. Giving back of yourself to others and
to the universe is a way of expressing gratitude for what you have, as well as
what you don't have yet. No matter where you are in your life, you do have
something to give - time, skills, money, knowledge. By giving wholeheartedly in
whatever ways you can, for the sheer joy of sharing of yourself, that gift will
always come back to you in some way. When we try to hold on too tightly to what
we have, we are approaching life from a place of fear and scarcity. Abundance
can only thrive when we can approach life from a space of love and giving
freely of whatever gifts we have.
What's the easiest way to express
your gratitude to the universe? Simply say "Thank You".
Copyright ©
1998 Lisa Taylor Huff. May be forwarded or reprinted in its entirety, without
alterations, including this copyright statement, with written permission from
the author.
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